More of a Rant but Still a Post Nonetheless

It has been a while since my last blog entry, and that is due to many reasons. I have been stretched thin with work, teaching, studying, and making time for friends. One of the many reasons is a lack of creativity. I enjoyed writing papers and reading throughout my studies, and always made time for that as well as personal reading. Writing really has allowed me to engage that more visionary version of myself, but since I have been dealing with mental and physical exhaustion, it hasn’t felt like I have had the time to unleash my creative side. Another reason is a bit of censorship. Sadly, due to a policy at work, I cannot discuss publicly or on any social media about anything politically related. And as some could tell from my blogging history, I really enjoy writing opinion pieces and analytically dissecting current events.

So, I have had to spend some time re-framing how I would like to use my platform. While I still enjoy writing about current events, politics, social justice, and so on, I will have to be a little bit more careful with how I use my voice. I hate to curtail the breadth of my writing, but I’d like to focus on depicting my experiences. This post will be a bit more disorganized than other entries, but to encourage myself to pick up the pen and paper, if you will, I had somewhere. This rant-like post seemed to be the best way to get the creative juices flowing again.

Most recently, I am most proud that I was able to finish my first personal read of the year. I started Picking Cotton by Jennifer Thompson-Cannino, Ronald Cotton, and Erin Torneo on my travels to Australia in December but with all of the fun and spending quality time with my friends, reading was really the last thing on the agenda.

Recently, I traveled to the Dominican Republic and there was plenty of time for reading, so I finally finished my book! My trip really was specifically for teaching yoga. For a year now, I have been eyeing this company that allows fitness instructors to teach at resorts around the world. Essentially, the hotels allow the instructor and their plus one to stay for a week for free with the condition that the instructor commits to fulfilling the hotel’s fitness class needs. I am excited to share that this was my first fully self-funded vacation. The hotel stay was compensated, but the flights I had to pay for. A pretty sweet deal if you ask me! Teaching in a new country, and for a resort, was certainly a new experience in my life, but also in my teaching career. Teaching to a new audience, people from outside the U.S., different languages, and even children. I am very eager to share this opportunity in another entry!

Taking a break (for vacations) from my job as a paralegal has been crucial. It seems, since the first day of my job until today, and probably the day I decide to leave, I have been overworked. I appreciate every experience and learning opportunity that I have encountered in my day-to-day, although it feels at times as if I am being taken advantage of. I find that as a young professional, I am constantly working 110% for my own sake to prove to my employers that I am worthy, but also to myself for my own reputation. And with this comes the issue of taking on too much. I hardly say “no” in my role. Trust me, I am eager to learn and continue to grow. Especially because working alongside attorneys in a fast-paced environment and given a substantial work-load will benefit my law school experience tenfold.

Unfortunately, I find myself experiencing (I think typical) work drama (there is definitely a better word for this). Sometimes it feels like high school: gossiping, passive-aggressive behavior, talking poorly of others, defensiveness, etc. And just like high school, I tend to stay out of all of this behavior but navigating through these harmful and quite annoying work behaviors of others starts to feel like another full-time job! And for this, I am happy to be going back to school soon. But for now, I am learning so much about professionals and how to work respectfully alongside coworkers.

Work has been tirelessly difficult. The job itself is not hard. Administrate tasks of a paralegal are very manageable. The editing and drafting portion of the work is quite interesting and I continue hoping to receive more of these tasks. What makes this job so difficult is the volume and pace at which the work needs to be completed, and essentially doing damage control for others. I am constantly facing new obstacles, challenges, and workplace situations that I’m sure are just part of working in an office building. I am not new to these situations, but they are definitely taking time to navigate correctly. And there may not be a correct way, but I am figuring out how to best advocate for myself, maintain a healthy work balance, and keep others accountable for their work.  I am certainly reassured by the fact that this stint in my current position as a paralegal is temporary. I know that I am building incredible, invaluable experiences that I will take certainly into law school.

Thankfully, I am leaving to go on vacation again. My sister and I are headed to Barcelona! Our good friend is living in Barcelona for 8 weeks, so what better of a time then now to visit? My sister and I have gone on plenty of trips together, but never just the two of us. And my convincing point to get her to buy her ticket was, “how many more opportunities will we get while we are young and healthy to travel together?” And that sold it!

So, very spontaneously, three weeks ago, we purchased our tickets. We leave this week. I’m maximizing my PTO for sure!  

And the best part… we are traveling to Ibiza for the 4^th of July. Woohoo!

My friends and I started a traveling journal. What is this, you may ask? Think of the sisterhood of the traveling pants.. yes, basically that, but a journal. Between the five of us, we all have the travel bug and are constantly exploring and experiencing life to its fullest potential. I feel so lucky to have found life-long friends who are just as stir-crazy and thrill-seeking as I am.  After spending so much time together in college at practice, nights out, and weekend trips, post-graduate life has become a different social routine. Now one of us lives /works in New York. I plan to move for law school soon. Another friend plans to move to NY eventually, one of us is starting her full-time job in August, and the other is starting Dental school in the Fall! So, this journal is really all about staying in touch given our completely different schedules and life chapters we are currently undergoing. We kicked off our entries at our friend group reunion in New York in March. We picked out a pretty pink Lichtenstein 1917 journal and made our first entry about our reunion trip. Next, my friend, Vani, left for Vietnam and Thailand. Up next, was me, in the Dominican! And after that, Ellie jetted off to Portugal and Morocco.  

If this is not clear already, I need to slow down. I have realized that I am a constant seeker of activity. I think this is a blessing of a quality and also quite a curse. It can certainly be a good thing, but at times, it feels that I am never quite satisfied with just being. I feel that I have been distracting myself from the grueling LSAT. This is true. Just the other day, I almost signed up for a Pilates certification. I have no time in my day-to-day or any intention of teaching Pilates. I am constantly searching for flights to new locations around the world, starting new television shows, seeking new hobbies, and so on.

By starting to focus my entries more on experience, I’d also like to home in on tactics that I employing to keep me focused on my next goal. While I seem to think the reason I write is to activate my creativity, I'm realizing that's only part of it. Writing gives shape to a crowded mind. It slows the flood of competing thoughts long enough for me to identify what matters next. Creativity often follows, but clarity comes first. I'm interested in paying closer attention to the habits, questions, and small decisions that help me regain focus when life feels like it's moving in too many directions.

With gratitude,

Olivia